God does not send us into the dangerous and exacting life of faith because we are qualified; He chooses in order to qualify us for what he wants us to be or do." Eugene Peterson
Thanks for visiting,
After I get all of the mutating missionary blogs from the past re-posted here, I will continue writing fresh ones. Enjoy the review...
Robyn Rochelle Cox
Loving God in the Moment
For months I haven't posted regularly. I have not one iota of understanding why. I know that I am, as is said here in Germany "standing between two stools". One is the English language and the other the German language. One is the American culture the other is the German culture. One is living within coffee drinking distance of my children and the other an ocean and half-a-country away.
But even in my daily writing I have waned. It has been a bit disconcerting for me.
In 24 hours I will be sitting at the Zürich airport awaiting my flight home. I visit for five days, travel for 2. Just looking at those numbers makes me tired. But, I am so thankful to the people and the loved ones that have helped me see my daughter graduate. It is so amazing to be able to do this. I cannot tell you. I had no plans - no thoughts - this would be a possibility.
It comes after a long stint in language school. I have said this before, but I say it again.
I can speak German. I really can. I am better and better at it. But I am not good enough yet. I have moved beyond the sweet little Mexican woman that I so empathize with. You know the one? I told you about her in my first few months here. I told you about sitting in my classroom in LISD and speaking with this sweet little old lady that came daily to clean my classroom.
She would smile at me and she would, in very broken English, say something to me. I would respond in Spanish, and she would fly into her mother tongue thinking that I could understand what she said. She would speak with fervor and with power. But, then she would realize she had lost me and go back to this pained 'searching for every word and syllable’ conversation. It was gruesome.
I am beyond that. I can carry on conversations with many mistakes, but carry them on. The people that I am speaking with can understand what I am saying and we have laughed and cried and been friends. But, I am still not where I need to be. I must be pretty good to teach a bible study. So, I continue in language school in April or May.
I listened to one of my 'boys' preach on his blog in Spanish yesterday. He is a missionary in Guatemala. I have watched him grow up and am now privileged enough to watch him rear his family on the mission field. They have it pretty rough. But, he spoke with such fluidity - I was a bit envious. Learning a language in school is an advantage.
Another young woman that I have watched grow up is living here as a newlywed. She is not as close to me in proximity as I would like. When she came I was in the midst of heavy duty ministry and headed to language school. So I haven't gotten to see her. She studied German in school as well. She writes it beautifully. I wish I knew as much of the German language Grammatik as she knows. But, she is dealing with homesickness, frustrations with the culture and basically, and huge questions as to 'why in heaven's name she ever wanted to come to this country' feeling. I CAN RELATE! I hope to see her in January.
I have cousins and a nephew here. I haven't seen either.
So... my intrigue of how and why I am here in a foreign land with no school preparations in my past - why I have not written so often of late - and why haven't I been able to connect with those that are here in Germany like I would have liked are all roaming around in my head.
But right now I am itching to write. I'm itching to share something that happened in these last few weeks. So today will be a multiple post day. 'Feast or famine.'
"Ich, Jesus, bin der helle Morgenstern" Offenbarung 22,16
"I Jesus am the Bright and Morning Star" Revelation 22:16
A little about me
I am in the world almost every day. Okay, daily.