God does not send us into the dangerous and exacting life of faith because we are qualified; He chooses in order to qualify us for what he wants us to be or do." Eugene Peterson
Thanks for visiting,
After I get all of the mutating missionary blogs from the past re-posted here, I will continue writing fresh ones. Enjoy the review...
Robyn Rochelle Cox
Loving God in the Moment
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Hurt by Jesus?
Have you ever been hurt by Jesus? People don't like that question. They immediately think: "Hey now, Jesus is love, He's my friend, He's kindness, He's…well… He's nice. Jesus wouldn't hurt me."I wonder if Peter would answer in the same way.
Recently, I have been hurt by Jesus. Now, hold on - don't leave before I have a chance to explain.Let's begin by going back to the night that Jesus spoke to Peter:
Jesus appeared once again to the disciples after His resurrection
“Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”
When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter. “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”
Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, Yes, Lord, you now that I love you.”
Jesus said “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him,, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” He said “Lord you know all things; you now that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”… The he said to him “Follow Me!”
I don’t particularly like this fact: of all the disciples, I identify with Peter.
And in this particular situation in my life – I find myself identifying with him again.
A commentary will clarify in this passage Peter was ‘reinstated.’ I don’t disagree with that, but there is something that goes on here that is of such depth of emotion – I cry when I read it.
Peter had denied Christ 3 times and now he was answering Christ 3 times with an 'I Love You' statement. But, think about this. Peter answered each time and each time a deeper understanding of his inadequacies arouse. Each time he remembered his failure to show (live out) the love that he had for Jesus.
I find myself in that position.
I have lived 50 years on this earth. Not all of those years have I ‘lived out’ the love that I have for Jesus. I have made some really bad mistakes. I have walked my own way – so many times. I have sometimes made decisions in a fog and woken up to find that I was living in a nightmare. I have failed my Lord.
At this stage of my life – I understand Peter better.
Recently, I came to Germany and left all of the life that I had carved out for myself behind. I came because He asked, “MM do you love me?” I answered “You know I love You, Jesus.” And He said “Feed my lambs.” I came to feed His lambs.
Then, I moved slowly into realizing that I was here for the long hard haul, that I was going to have to give up even the very thing that I consider to be my strength -‘the English language.’ He asked me, “MM do you love me?” I answered “You now I love You, Jesus.” And He said “Feed my sheep.” I learn German to feed His sheep.”
Now, my son is getting married, my daughter has been in the hospital, and my youngest son is investigating buying a house. All of these are significant events in my children’s lives. I am not a part of them. I go to sprach schule, go to meetings, and church services that they would not even want to attend, because they would not even begin to know the language. I talk to people that they could not communicate with. I pray for people that they do not know. I live a life that my children are not a part of. And it hurts. It hurts bad!!!!!!
And my Jesus says, “MM, do you love me?” and that hurts more! Do you understand? For Jesus to have to ask that question of me… Oh I hurt that hurt that is so deep. And I say to Him: “Lord you know all things; you know that I love you.”
And He says, “Feed my sheep…Follow Me!”
I live in germany.
your mutating missionary
Posted by Robyn Rochelle E. at Saturday, March 03, 2007
A little about me
I am in the world almost every day. Okay, daily.