God does not send us into the dangerous and exacting life of faith because we are qualified; He chooses in order to qualify us for what he wants us to be or do." Eugene Peterson
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After I get all of the mutating missionary blogs from the past re-posted here, I will continue writing fresh ones. Enjoy the review...
Robyn Rochelle Cox
Loving God in the Moment
Monday, October 17, 2005
I have had God wrapping me in cellophane = cel·lo·phane = a thin, transparent waterproof material made from wood pulp and used for wrapping and covering.
OK maybe he hasn’t been wrapping me in the kind of cellophane defined in the dictionary – but it has certainly felt like I was being wrapped in cellophane!
First, I have been squished. You know how you place the cellophane on the bowl and you tighten it over the lip of the bowl. You slip your fingers around it and slid your thumb under the edge (giving it that ‘just right’ touch) to seal in the freshness! Granted, it hasn’t felt like He was sealing in the freshness, instead – it has felt like He was digging deeper to remove any grout from around the edges!!!!!
Second, I have been probed. Remember when you stop just before you put the bowl in the fridge and you touch the top of the cellophane to see if it is still sealed? Yep, that is God with me of late! He has probed my motives. He has searched my heart. I am in His clear view. I am open and exposed. I am sealed in HIM and can handle the prodding only because of that.
Third, I am overwhelmed with my weeping. As you take that bowl out of the fridge, and stick it in the microwave to re-heat, the moisture collects on the top of the cellophane – even if you slice it slightly; it collects. I am weeping. Weeping in the car. Weeping in the shower. Weeping while cooking dinner. Weeping before dear female firefighters come over to be mentored. Weeping during the worship service. Weeping during the teaching. Weeping before meetings. Weeping. It should be embarrassing, but not really. Why?
Why am I weeping?
God has asked me to check my motives for going to Europe.
My motive? To teach ‘how to teach inductive bible studies’ to believers that would like to share with others about who God is.
Perhaps. But, I think that God has wrapped me up tightly in the last few weeks. Tightly enough that I have questioned and come away knowing that I am still called…
My motive? To serve. I desire to serve, my boss, the women of GEM, the women of Europe, the women of greater Europe. I desire to serve. I know that I am serving right where I am. But my heart aches for those that don’t have a Bible study on every corner; those that don’t have a church on every street; those that don’t know Him. Those that are empty, void, attempting to seek so many other things to replace the One and Only God that seeks them. I pray that He will allow me to be used.
I don’t bring perfection. Just a steamed bowl of me! Broken, poked, prodded. Loving Him more than family, friends, church – I desire to serve.
Posted by Robyn Rochelle E. at Monday, October 17, 2005
A little about me
I am in the world almost every day. Okay, daily.